The Words: "By the immortal God, I will not move!"
Grade: B
The Story: Now that there's a book all about me, I've been thinking a lot about the death of Thomas Love Peacock, a 19th century writer who was among the most noted Peacocks of his time. Thomas died in his beloved library during a fire in 1866. He was trying to save his books, and when the flames crept in so close that it became clear his library was toast, Peacock decided to go down with them, shouting, "By the immortal God, I will not move!" A nice sentiment. But jeez. Let the books go, idiot.

Also, I was trying to think of a way to make a Clue joke, like, "Mr. Peacock in the Library with the Fiery Flames of Hell," but then I remembered that Clue's Peacock is a Mrs.